To avoid arguments, a friend wise but never married suggested at a wedding shower: “Whoever cares about it most should get his or her way.”  What could be wrong with that?  This may seem like a logical way to keep the peace when controversy or differences arise, one which would require a minimum of effort.  It may start out this way, but I have field experience to suggest that isn’t the end of the story.  The rule can quickly turn one party, perhaps unintentionally, into a bully who quickly realizes, perhaps unmindfully, that all it takes to get what he/she wants is insistence.  And it turns the other party, who is likely the less confrontational by nature, into a seething mass of unspoken resentment.  He/she may never be able to match the intensity the other brings to the issue and the decisions will quickly start to seem wrongly one-sided.   You’ll be following a rule you both agreed upon and changing the rule is likely neither a battle the pacifist will want to pick nor one the bully will want to lose.  Best if you reason through decisions big and small until a pattern emerges that comfortably creates equity.