Sometimes he/she drives you crazy!  And it’s more than just the toothpaste tube cap.  It’s leaving all the kitchen cabinet doors open.   It’s clothes strewn all over the floor.  It’s never picking up the mail.  It’s never – ever – picking the restaurant.  It’s answering the phone every time it rings no matter what the two of you are engaged in.  It’s asking you questions while you are obviously in the middle of something important.  It’s yelling at you from another room.  But you don’t say anything because “these are small things,” right?  Oh, you seething mass you!  Or you do say something.  Every time, all the time, you can’t help yourself.  You exasperated nag, what a joy to be around you!  How to stop the madness?  What you need to recognize is that there are two parties to irritation, the irritator and the irritatee.  The irritatee can do very little to change the irritator, but the irritatee does have one extremely powerful tool: he/she can choose not to get irritated. The cabinet door is open.  Look at it.  Close it, gently.  Smile at the thought of your darling spouse’s eccentricities.   It is a choice to be or not to be … irritated.  This tool is most powerfully executed in the Mutual Non-Irritation Pact.  Both of you choose to accept the annoying habits of the other without irritation.  It’s surprisingly easy to do and it’s a nice way to live.