Great wedding advice: can you ever have too much? This column from the June 13th’s Boston Globe is well worth reading…the comments too.
My favorite among the several good ones is this: “You know when you’re lying in bed and there’s a line down the middle, and you’ve had a massive fight? I put my toe over the line.” Yes choosing to overlook the irritants is important, as is practically a saintly level of forgiveness. Some people think it stops there: “Well, I forgave him/her, isn’t that what matters?” Yes and no. It does matter. But more than forgiveness is reconciliation. You could make the case that forgiveness with distance isn’t forgiveness. I find forgiveness with distance simply ineffective in the relationship. If you have too much pride to be the one who sticks his/her toe across the middle, then you’re putting your pride before the relationship. Thus starts the simmering pot that will boil over again. Forgiveness requires the complete act of reconciliation, either by bravely initiating it or by gracefully accepting it.
Also, in the comments section, there is one piece of “good advice” on which I blogged the opposite on June 3. There are several great bits of advice in the column and a couple not-so-good bits. Any on that page, or from this blog, that would make a difference in your relationship?
wishicouldstay 